Hello Everyone,
The Pain Diaries is set to make it's world debut in Calgary May 13, 2010 (during the Canadian Pain Society's conference). To make that happen I have to raise $100,000.00 over the next six months or so.
Well, I can't do it all, though I've tried. So we are temporarily moving this blog over to our Facebook Group (The Pain Diaries) in order for me to focus my efforts on producing the play over the next several months.
I think this blog is important, and would love to see it eventually taken over and run by patients, as an important tool for people with chronic pain to be able to reach a community of their peers, and I hope someone will be inspired to step in and take it over.
Until then, please join us on Facebook: The Pain Diaries. We will keep you updated on what is happening and keep some discussions going.
If you are able to help with running the blog, marketing or fundraising for this project, please contact me on Facebook.
Thank you so much for all you support, I look forward to meeting you all on Facebook and next May.
Deborah Nicholson
Friday, October 23, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Mondays with Marlene
In my humble opinion ...
When I was a young mother, many moons ago, I took a winters worth of Yoga at the “Y”, and enjoyed it thoroughly. The slow, controlled movements really worked all of one’s joints and in fact when we finished a class by lying down and relaxing, I often fell asleep. Now that’s relaxed.
I haven’t done Yoga many, many years, but am going to start again this coming fall/winter. I will be starting with some trepidation because of the injuries from the car accident, but knowing there are many different types of Yoga, I will start gently, doing what I can, then work from there. Obviously one of the things I remember well is the relaxing part, which can be powerful medicine. As you no doubt know, there is growing scientific evidence that there is a strong link between our thoughts, attitudes and emotions, and our mental and physical health. In other words, we can use our mind to help manage the symptoms of our chronic condition. That gives us a lot of power, but we have to learn how to use it.
While I was in the hospital last year I had to face the possibility of some pretty serious spinal surgery and a possible variety of results, some not so pleasant. I knew I was going to have to really focus on getting well and keep myself calm, so I asked my daughter in law, who teaches Yoga, to help me with my breathing, relaxation techniques, imagery and anything else she could think of that would help me get through this minefield of possibilities. Cutting to the end of this story, everyone, me included, was amazed at how calm I was through the entire process and how I kept my thinking positive. I visualized my spine healing and myself walking through a forest, or on a beach, which are my favourite things to do. And it worked.
I still have issues to deal with, but every single day, I thank the Universe for giving me another day on this beautiful earth and that is how I manage. One day at a time.
Give thanks and live each day as fully as you can. It works.
When I was a young mother, many moons ago, I took a winters worth of Yoga at the “Y”, and enjoyed it thoroughly. The slow, controlled movements really worked all of one’s joints and in fact when we finished a class by lying down and relaxing, I often fell asleep. Now that’s relaxed.
I haven’t done Yoga many, many years, but am going to start again this coming fall/winter. I will be starting with some trepidation because of the injuries from the car accident, but knowing there are many different types of Yoga, I will start gently, doing what I can, then work from there. Obviously one of the things I remember well is the relaxing part, which can be powerful medicine. As you no doubt know, there is growing scientific evidence that there is a strong link between our thoughts, attitudes and emotions, and our mental and physical health. In other words, we can use our mind to help manage the symptoms of our chronic condition. That gives us a lot of power, but we have to learn how to use it.
While I was in the hospital last year I had to face the possibility of some pretty serious spinal surgery and a possible variety of results, some not so pleasant. I knew I was going to have to really focus on getting well and keep myself calm, so I asked my daughter in law, who teaches Yoga, to help me with my breathing, relaxation techniques, imagery and anything else she could think of that would help me get through this minefield of possibilities. Cutting to the end of this story, everyone, me included, was amazed at how calm I was through the entire process and how I kept my thinking positive. I visualized my spine healing and myself walking through a forest, or on a beach, which are my favourite things to do. And it worked.
I still have issues to deal with, but every single day, I thank the Universe for giving me another day on this beautiful earth and that is how I manage. One day at a time.
Give thanks and live each day as fully as you can. It works.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
My Next Project
I wanted to drop in and give a little thanks to all of you here for your support over the past two years of researching and writing this play. We're starting to work on production now, with a debut slated for May 2010 in Calgary. Stay tuned.
Currently, I'm writing a novel online in a contest. If you're interested, you can check it out at www.textnovel.com and it's call The Full Moon People. If you like it, cast a vote for me by pressing the thumbs up icon.
Thanks for following along and we'll keep you posted on the play.
Deb
Currently, I'm writing a novel online in a contest. If you're interested, you can check it out at www.textnovel.com and it's call The Full Moon People. If you like it, cast a vote for me by pressing the thumbs up icon.
Thanks for following along and we'll keep you posted on the play.
Deb
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Big News
Calgary Writer Wins Prestigious National Award
Calgary writer Deborah Nicholson has won Canadian Pain Society’s inaugural Pain Awareness Award (2009). Ms Nicholson is the author of the Kate Carpenter Mysteries series (Severn House).
Ms. Nicholson, a medical transcriptionist with Alberta Health Services Calgary Chronic Pain Centre (the largest pain centre in Canada), spent a year interviewing caregivers, patients and their families in order to learn about chronic pain and its impact. The play, The Pain Diaries, took another year to complete. In this two act play Nicholson uses humour to tackle the very difficult and misunderstood subject of chronic pain.
She says “I couldn’t stop thinking about these people and their stories, they haunted me. I had to find a way to bring this to the public, so we could start to understand how lives are altered by this misunderstood condition.”
The contest was adjudicated by a national panel of pain experts, whose comments include:
“I would give this first place out of those presented, because this is so powerful. It will be even more powerful when presented …”
“ …the story of a person suffering pain and its consequences for her and her family. It’s told with humour and candor. The hand‐down winner for me”.
The award is sponsored by Biovail Pharmaceuticals Canada and will be presented in Quebec City at the National Conference on May 29, 2009. The play will be presented at the 2010 National Conference, which will be held in Calgary, Alberta. There has also been interest in staging it in Australia, also in 2010.
Calgary writer Deborah Nicholson has won Canadian Pain Society’s inaugural Pain Awareness Award (2009). Ms Nicholson is the author of the Kate Carpenter Mysteries series (Severn House).
Ms. Nicholson, a medical transcriptionist with Alberta Health Services Calgary Chronic Pain Centre (the largest pain centre in Canada), spent a year interviewing caregivers, patients and their families in order to learn about chronic pain and its impact. The play, The Pain Diaries, took another year to complete. In this two act play Nicholson uses humour to tackle the very difficult and misunderstood subject of chronic pain.
She says “I couldn’t stop thinking about these people and their stories, they haunted me. I had to find a way to bring this to the public, so we could start to understand how lives are altered by this misunderstood condition.”
The contest was adjudicated by a national panel of pain experts, whose comments include:
“I would give this first place out of those presented, because this is so powerful. It will be even more powerful when presented …”
“ …the story of a person suffering pain and its consequences for her and her family. It’s told with humour and candor. The hand‐down winner for me”.
The award is sponsored by Biovail Pharmaceuticals Canada and will be presented in Quebec City at the National Conference on May 29, 2009. The play will be presented at the 2010 National Conference, which will be held in Calgary, Alberta. There has also been interest in staging it in Australia, also in 2010.
Mondays with Marlene
In my opinion ...
Sexy, Sexier, Sexiest
There used to be a bunch of jokes making the rounds about foreplay. They were usually pretty crass and we all laughed, especially the women, because often they seemed like a page out of our lives. You know – that old “slam bam thank you ma’am” thing. As we grow older, foreplay is often as much fun and enjoyable as intercourse, and if we’re living with chronic pain, there are times it’s the only way to go. So how do we keep this important part of our relationships alive and well? Good question.
Because of the physical demands intercourse puts on our bodies, it may be time to check out the lay of the land, so to speak. Let’s do what we always wanted to do – try something different; be adventuresome. Try spending more time on foreplay and less on actual intercourse. In other words,” kill the slam bam thank you ma’am” approach to sex. Spending time arousing your partner and giving him/her pleasure while in a comfortable position, your intimate time together can last longer and actually be satisfying. By recognizing that our minds and bodies are linked, we can increase the sexual pleasure we experience through both physical and cognitive stimulation. It sure sounds like fun to me and I know your partner will agree.
There’s lots more to talk about and I’ll be doing that in future columns. In the meantime, my advice to you is practice, practice, practice.
Sexy, Sexier, Sexiest
There used to be a bunch of jokes making the rounds about foreplay. They were usually pretty crass and we all laughed, especially the women, because often they seemed like a page out of our lives. You know – that old “slam bam thank you ma’am” thing. As we grow older, foreplay is often as much fun and enjoyable as intercourse, and if we’re living with chronic pain, there are times it’s the only way to go. So how do we keep this important part of our relationships alive and well? Good question.
Because of the physical demands intercourse puts on our bodies, it may be time to check out the lay of the land, so to speak. Let’s do what we always wanted to do – try something different; be adventuresome. Try spending more time on foreplay and less on actual intercourse. In other words,” kill the slam bam thank you ma’am” approach to sex. Spending time arousing your partner and giving him/her pleasure while in a comfortable position, your intimate time together can last longer and actually be satisfying. By recognizing that our minds and bodies are linked, we can increase the sexual pleasure we experience through both physical and cognitive stimulation. It sure sounds like fun to me and I know your partner will agree.
There’s lots more to talk about and I’ll be doing that in future columns. In the meantime, my advice to you is practice, practice, practice.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Mondays with Marlene
In my opinion ...
My husband and I have just completed a six week “course” on Living a Healthy Life with Chronic Conditions. It’s presented by the University of Victoria Center of Aging and is designed as a self-management program. It covered a lot of topics I was already familiar with, but like most courses contained these wonderful nuggets of wisdom and practicality, and often jolted my memory and reminded me that there were things I could do to make my life the best it can be with the condition I have to live with. The attendees had a variety of chronic problems and believe me, some of them made me happy to have the problems I had to deal with.
One of the most important things I was reminded of was to communicate. Sounds pretty simple, but it’s probably one of the things we all fail miserably at most of the time. Coping mechanisms was also a biggie. We all know that we have to do certain things, but sometimes we put them off or think that missing that stretching routine just once or twice won’t really hurt. NOT!
Something very important for me is to remember to be kind and good to myself. Stop for a cup of coffee and sit out on the patio to drink it. Enjoy the day. Arrange your budget so you can go out for lunch or dinner once in a while. I know it gives me that much needed boost. Take a few minutes to phone or write to a friend. Tell your family you love them. That’s being kind to everyone. Give your husband/wife an extra hug and let him know how much you appreciate his/her support. Say thanks to the grocery store clerk for carrying your bags out to the car and say thanks to yourself for hanging in there and doing the best you can.
Give yourself a little hug and a pat on the back. You deserve it.
My husband and I have just completed a six week “course” on Living a Healthy Life with Chronic Conditions. It’s presented by the University of Victoria Center of Aging and is designed as a self-management program. It covered a lot of topics I was already familiar with, but like most courses contained these wonderful nuggets of wisdom and practicality, and often jolted my memory and reminded me that there were things I could do to make my life the best it can be with the condition I have to live with. The attendees had a variety of chronic problems and believe me, some of them made me happy to have the problems I had to deal with.
One of the most important things I was reminded of was to communicate. Sounds pretty simple, but it’s probably one of the things we all fail miserably at most of the time. Coping mechanisms was also a biggie. We all know that we have to do certain things, but sometimes we put them off or think that missing that stretching routine just once or twice won’t really hurt. NOT!
Something very important for me is to remember to be kind and good to myself. Stop for a cup of coffee and sit out on the patio to drink it. Enjoy the day. Arrange your budget so you can go out for lunch or dinner once in a while. I know it gives me that much needed boost. Take a few minutes to phone or write to a friend. Tell your family you love them. That’s being kind to everyone. Give your husband/wife an extra hug and let him know how much you appreciate his/her support. Say thanks to the grocery store clerk for carrying your bags out to the car and say thanks to yourself for hanging in there and doing the best you can.
Give yourself a little hug and a pat on the back. You deserve it.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
mondays with Marlene
In my opinion ...
Can you believe it? I had a friggin’ hissy fit the other day. Things have been going pretty well lately. I’ve started acquafit classes, which I’m enjoying and seem to be doing me some good; I’m walking faithfully and slowly starting to write once again. All in all, I really have nothing to complain about, so why the “spoiled child” act? Pain and frustration, that’s why. We went to a car wash and I was trying to turn my neck to see what the protocol was, but damn it, I couldn’t turn my neck far enough to read the sign, so instead of just approaching from a different angle, I started pounding on the steering wheel and screaming that I wanted my neck to be normal again. All I managed to accomplish out of that little act was to scare the devil out of my husband and bruise my hand. Pretty smart, hey? Totally grown up and adult, right? Not!
When I calmed down and realized I was acting like a jerk, I asked the attendant to give me the dirt on getting the dirt off the car, got in line and it all worked like a charm. Why didn’t I just do that in the first place? Beats the heck out of me but somehow, sore hand and all, I did feel a little better.
There are a lot of frustrations when you are limited to what you can do because of pain, and I guess sometimes it just has to come out. It’s not the first time I’ve been totally frustrated and pissed off because I can’t do something I want to do, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. What I’m trying to do is actually is accept I’m not perfect and do have the right to sound off now and again, excluding kicking the dog or chasing the postman of course.
Now if I could just get my hands on a punching bag. ; )
Can you believe it? I had a friggin’ hissy fit the other day. Things have been going pretty well lately. I’ve started acquafit classes, which I’m enjoying and seem to be doing me some good; I’m walking faithfully and slowly starting to write once again. All in all, I really have nothing to complain about, so why the “spoiled child” act? Pain and frustration, that’s why. We went to a car wash and I was trying to turn my neck to see what the protocol was, but damn it, I couldn’t turn my neck far enough to read the sign, so instead of just approaching from a different angle, I started pounding on the steering wheel and screaming that I wanted my neck to be normal again. All I managed to accomplish out of that little act was to scare the devil out of my husband and bruise my hand. Pretty smart, hey? Totally grown up and adult, right? Not!
When I calmed down and realized I was acting like a jerk, I asked the attendant to give me the dirt on getting the dirt off the car, got in line and it all worked like a charm. Why didn’t I just do that in the first place? Beats the heck out of me but somehow, sore hand and all, I did feel a little better.
There are a lot of frustrations when you are limited to what you can do because of pain, and I guess sometimes it just has to come out. It’s not the first time I’ve been totally frustrated and pissed off because I can’t do something I want to do, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. What I’m trying to do is actually is accept I’m not perfect and do have the right to sound off now and again, excluding kicking the dog or chasing the postman of course.
Now if I could just get my hands on a punching bag. ; )
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Mondays with Marlene
In my opinion ...
Have you ever asked your daughter to get you some rubbers? I did and the final result was quite satisfying, but getting to that point was positively hilarious. First of all she wanted me to repeat my request, which I did. Then she suggested I was probably old enough to buy my own rubbers. I agreed. Then she said she was delighted that I wasn’t too old for safe sex. I said I was delighted as well, but it didn’t have anything to do with safe sex; it was all about exercise. “Ya, ya, ya, everyone knows sex is great exercise so don’t try that one mom.”
It’s funny how some things never change. She didn’t listen to me when she was a teenager either.
After being in a brace for almost seven months, I was sadly out of shape, housebound, lacking confidence and needed to do something about it. My body was crying for help and I was up to throwing out the old lifeline, but needed some rubbers to assist me. Of course since then I have found out they aren’t called rubbers; they are officially known as Theraband, which does sound much better, especially if your daughter is involved.
So now I am the proud owner of an excellent variety of rubbers – er Theraband - to assist me into getting fit again. I found my tolerance levels, got advice from my healthcare professionals and have slowly started to increase my activity. I’m walking most morning, have now started acquacise, am trying to use my exercise ball on a regular basis and have found the Theraband some of the most useful tools I have in my little “get back into moving" arsenal.
There are still things I can’t do, and that may never change, but I’m focussing on the positive, doing what I can and am already feeling much stronger and more sure of myself.
Another great side effect? Meeting new people, getting out of the house on a regular basis and feeling so much better about myself. Important stuff.
And the sex? Well I’ll save that for another column.
Have you ever asked your daughter to get you some rubbers? I did and the final result was quite satisfying, but getting to that point was positively hilarious. First of all she wanted me to repeat my request, which I did. Then she suggested I was probably old enough to buy my own rubbers. I agreed. Then she said she was delighted that I wasn’t too old for safe sex. I said I was delighted as well, but it didn’t have anything to do with safe sex; it was all about exercise. “Ya, ya, ya, everyone knows sex is great exercise so don’t try that one mom.”
It’s funny how some things never change. She didn’t listen to me when she was a teenager either.
After being in a brace for almost seven months, I was sadly out of shape, housebound, lacking confidence and needed to do something about it. My body was crying for help and I was up to throwing out the old lifeline, but needed some rubbers to assist me. Of course since then I have found out they aren’t called rubbers; they are officially known as Theraband, which does sound much better, especially if your daughter is involved.
So now I am the proud owner of an excellent variety of rubbers – er Theraband - to assist me into getting fit again. I found my tolerance levels, got advice from my healthcare professionals and have slowly started to increase my activity. I’m walking most morning, have now started acquacise, am trying to use my exercise ball on a regular basis and have found the Theraband some of the most useful tools I have in my little “get back into moving" arsenal.
There are still things I can’t do, and that may never change, but I’m focussing on the positive, doing what I can and am already feeling much stronger and more sure of myself.
Another great side effect? Meeting new people, getting out of the house on a regular basis and feeling so much better about myself. Important stuff.
And the sex? Well I’ll save that for another column.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Mondays with Marlene
...which due to technical problems is late being posted this week. We apologize.
In my opinion...
Any pain or chronic health problems we have to deal with have an impact on everyone around us; friends, children, husbands, and sometimes even neighbours or people we barely know. Since my children are now adults with their own homes, I really didn’t think much about the impact my accident would have on them. I knew they were worried, but until my daughter made a rather off-hand remark during a conversation, I had no idea how deeply my accident had affected her. I, of course, felt terrible that I had added to her stress level, but wasn’t quite sure what to do or how to make her feel better about it.
When the light bulb finally went on, it was a relatively simple solution; let her help me. I know that sounds pretty simple, but I’ve always had a problem accepting help. Unfortunately with six fractured vertebrae, I really had no choice. The trick was to accept help graciously. It took a bit of time, but when I realized that by letting people help me, I was helping them in turn, it was much easier to accept. I know that when I’m worried, action is what I need, so obviously they needed to do something to made them feel they were a part of the healing process. I learned to accept help from everyone to do the million and one other tasks I was unable to handle myself.
Let those who care help. That way everyone wins.
In my opinion...
Any pain or chronic health problems we have to deal with have an impact on everyone around us; friends, children, husbands, and sometimes even neighbours or people we barely know. Since my children are now adults with their own homes, I really didn’t think much about the impact my accident would have on them. I knew they were worried, but until my daughter made a rather off-hand remark during a conversation, I had no idea how deeply my accident had affected her. I, of course, felt terrible that I had added to her stress level, but wasn’t quite sure what to do or how to make her feel better about it.
When the light bulb finally went on, it was a relatively simple solution; let her help me. I know that sounds pretty simple, but I’ve always had a problem accepting help. Unfortunately with six fractured vertebrae, I really had no choice. The trick was to accept help graciously. It took a bit of time, but when I realized that by letting people help me, I was helping them in turn, it was much easier to accept. I know that when I’m worried, action is what I need, so obviously they needed to do something to made them feel they were a part of the healing process. I learned to accept help from everyone to do the million and one other tasks I was unable to handle myself.
Let those who care help. That way everyone wins.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Mondays with Marlene
In my opinion ...
Lots of things change when you are incapacitated and in pain. In fact, almost everything changes, but there is a way to do most daily tasks; ask for advice from your health care professional, think outside the box or just brain storm with friends and family. Mind you, you don’t want to ask the kids for advice on how to have sex with their dad, but it’s surprising what young minds come up with to solve some of those everyday problems. Since my husband and I are retired and don’t have any young ones running around the house, we’ve tried to figure things out for ourselves, often by trial and error. One thing I always did, though, was to ask my healthcare-givers if it was safe for me to do things such as vacuum, do laundry and clean toilets (the housecleaning triathlon)
Since I’ve been called a neat freak more than once in my life, you can imagine that watching dust bunnies grow under the bed pretty much made me crazy, so I had to figure out how to clean the house. What ended up working well for me, was a great husband who is probably the best string mop floor washer in the world, and breaking the job up into do-able increments. That was a challenge in itself since I’ve never in my life broken any job into small increments, but now I had no choice. I ended up dusting one day, cleaning the bathroom, kitchen sink and so on the second and vacuuming, which I found very hard, the third day and then my husband washed the floors. Presto – small increments from a “do it all now or the world will end type of gal” and I had a clean house. In fact it worked so well even though I am able to do more now, I still clean the same way. It made so much sense that I don’t ever want to put a full day into housecleaning again.
Another item that was a great help, especially early on in the relearning process, was one of those reacher things. I don’t know what they are really called but there is a handle and a trigger and a gripper so you can reach things that are too high for you and being me, I even used it to pick up bits and pieces off the floor, or the magazine I dropped or a few times to pinch my sweet husband right on the butt. Now that’s thinking outside the box! You can do it too.
Lots of things change when you are incapacitated and in pain. In fact, almost everything changes, but there is a way to do most daily tasks; ask for advice from your health care professional, think outside the box or just brain storm with friends and family. Mind you, you don’t want to ask the kids for advice on how to have sex with their dad, but it’s surprising what young minds come up with to solve some of those everyday problems. Since my husband and I are retired and don’t have any young ones running around the house, we’ve tried to figure things out for ourselves, often by trial and error. One thing I always did, though, was to ask my healthcare-givers if it was safe for me to do things such as vacuum, do laundry and clean toilets (the housecleaning triathlon)
Since I’ve been called a neat freak more than once in my life, you can imagine that watching dust bunnies grow under the bed pretty much made me crazy, so I had to figure out how to clean the house. What ended up working well for me, was a great husband who is probably the best string mop floor washer in the world, and breaking the job up into do-able increments. That was a challenge in itself since I’ve never in my life broken any job into small increments, but now I had no choice. I ended up dusting one day, cleaning the bathroom, kitchen sink and so on the second and vacuuming, which I found very hard, the third day and then my husband washed the floors. Presto – small increments from a “do it all now or the world will end type of gal” and I had a clean house. In fact it worked so well even though I am able to do more now, I still clean the same way. It made so much sense that I don’t ever want to put a full day into housecleaning again.
Another item that was a great help, especially early on in the relearning process, was one of those reacher things. I don’t know what they are really called but there is a handle and a trigger and a gripper so you can reach things that are too high for you and being me, I even used it to pick up bits and pieces off the floor, or the magazine I dropped or a few times to pinch my sweet husband right on the butt. Now that’s thinking outside the box! You can do it too.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Mondays With Marlene
In my opinion....
Do you remember when you got your first car; or at least when you learned to drive and could borrow your dad’s or a boyfriend’s car? Or when your cousin who was a year older than you got her driver’s license and the two of you would cruise Main Street, along with dozens of other newly empowered teenagers? Do you remember those trips to A & W when it was still a drive in and your food was delivered on a tray that was attached to the side window of the car? OK, I know I’m dating myself, but the excitement of those days was nothing compared to finally getting a car after over seven months of being unable to drive. Whahooooo!
Free at last. Free at last. Thanks to the universe and my ever present angels, free at Last.
One of the hardest parts of recovering from our car accident was not being independent; having to depend on friends, family, and sometimes strangers to get you to doctor’s offices, therapy appointments and grocery shopping. It was a very painful experience. I am the one who was always in charge; the leader of the pack, the helper outer and now the show had moved on and I had to ask others for help. Gulp. Perhaps that was the lesson I had to learn and believe me, it was a hard one. I’m sure that all of you reading this know exactly what I’m talking about. We take that independence thing for granted until suddenly we don’t have it any longer.
Every time I get into my new used car and drive away, I am grateful that I didn't lose the ability to drive. I can guarantee it’s something I will never take for granted again.
Now where the heck was that A & W drive in?
Do you remember when you got your first car; or at least when you learned to drive and could borrow your dad’s or a boyfriend’s car? Or when your cousin who was a year older than you got her driver’s license and the two of you would cruise Main Street, along with dozens of other newly empowered teenagers? Do you remember those trips to A & W when it was still a drive in and your food was delivered on a tray that was attached to the side window of the car? OK, I know I’m dating myself, but the excitement of those days was nothing compared to finally getting a car after over seven months of being unable to drive. Whahooooo!
Free at last. Free at last. Thanks to the universe and my ever present angels, free at Last.
One of the hardest parts of recovering from our car accident was not being independent; having to depend on friends, family, and sometimes strangers to get you to doctor’s offices, therapy appointments and grocery shopping. It was a very painful experience. I am the one who was always in charge; the leader of the pack, the helper outer and now the show had moved on and I had to ask others for help. Gulp. Perhaps that was the lesson I had to learn and believe me, it was a hard one. I’m sure that all of you reading this know exactly what I’m talking about. We take that independence thing for granted until suddenly we don’t have it any longer.
Every time I get into my new used car and drive away, I am grateful that I didn't lose the ability to drive. I can guarantee it’s something I will never take for granted again.
Now where the heck was that A & W drive in?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Mondays With Marlene
In my opinion....
When I was in grade school, I was madly in love with the boy next door whose name was Bill, but the bills I’m dealing with these days are not the least bit loveable. People-type Bills come in all sizes, shapes and personalities, but the paper bills I am now involved with are all big. Very big. In fact so big that they are painful.
Been there done that? I’ll bet you have. Appointments with doctors, physiotherapists, psychologists, and heaven knows who else, and the bills keep coming. Whether the pain you are dealing with was the result of a car accident, a fall, or is part of that big black hole of undetermined, I can guarantee you have not only had to deal with the pain, but with the painful business of paying bills. There is no question that those of us lucky enough to live in Canada have a pretty good medical system, but it’s not perfect, doesn’t pay for everything and can drop us into an endless round of bills that we often don’t have enough money to pay, or have to pay in instalments – sometimes for the rest of our lives. Granted, we do have the option of purchasing supplemental insurance to cover a portion of what the provincial medical system doesn’t take care of, but not everyone can afford it. It’s even more critical these days when so many people are losing their jobs due to the economic downturn. I tell you, this can be a combination of the perfect storm and the ultimate catch 22.
So what do you do when you’re in pain and trying to recover from the “sticker shock” cost of being ill? I wish I had some simple answers, but I don’t. I have protested one bill I received from a U.S. hospital, so we’ll see where that goes. If you have any ideas to share with us, please feel free to leave a comment. Perhaps if we get a dialogue going, we can all get some insight into how to deal with that bill thing and be able to put more of our energy into getting our lives back.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Mondays with Marlene
In my opinion...
I trust everyone had a lovely long weekend, and that the good old bunny left you a supply of chocolate that will get you through the next month or two. Mmmmmm chocolate.
I couldn’t get to sleep last night. No, I wasn’t laying awake waiting for the Easter Bunny and the gift of chocolate. I just couldn’t get comfortable. My back was sore, my hips achy and my neck seemed to take on a life of its own, shooting attention-getting pains here and there. Finally at three a.m., I got up and took a couple of ibuprofen. That seemed to do the trick and finally I slept like a baby – until ten a.m. as a matter of fact. Good thing I’m retired or I would have had a real problem getting to work.
I should have known better and took something for the discomfort right away instead of tossing and turning for hours. I think it’s called chasing the pain. I’ve never been much of a “pill popper” and always thought it was a sign of weakness to have to take medication of any kind, but as I grow older and hopefully wiser, and with sage advice from my doctors (and my daughter Deborah - LOL), I come to realize that wasn’t true. In fact I think the weakness is trying to fight pain or discomfort alone when so many helpful tools are available to us. It’s hard to change old habits, but I’m trying, and believe me, some days it is very trying for everyone.
I’m back to walking for an hour five mornings a week, enjoying the beautiful spring weather and watching the earth come to life once again. When I think of how close I came to never seeing this particular spring, I thank the universe for all of my blessings and this old dog is slowly learning a few new tricks.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Bring out the champagne!
When it comes to art (versus science), your creation is never done, but there comes a point where you have to walk away from it.
On March 31, I walked away from The Pain Diaries and called it a first draft. (feel free to cheer out loud here)
There are copies being read by a select few "critics" and we'll see what they have to say.
Now comes the exciting part - watching my "baby" go out into the world and take its first steps. Cross your fingers and lets hope it makes an impact.
My heart-felt thanks to everyone that had anything to do with this project.
Deb
On March 31, I walked away from The Pain Diaries and called it a first draft. (feel free to cheer out loud here)
There are copies being read by a select few "critics" and we'll see what they have to say.
Now comes the exciting part - watching my "baby" go out into the world and take its first steps. Cross your fingers and lets hope it makes an impact.
My heart-felt thanks to everyone that had anything to do with this project.
Deb
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Mondays with Marlene
In my opinion....
Probably one of the worst things about chronic pain is feeling alone, imagining no one can possibly understand and trying to figure out how to lessen the pain or live with it....live being the operative word. Who can you really talk to besides your doctor? Who can really understand the mess this pain has made of your life? How about seeking out others like you who suffer from chronic pain? I don’t mean a stitch and bitch session; I mean exchange ideas, ask each other questions, give each other hope and know, finally, that you’re not alone.
A long time ago I had a “nervous breakdown”, a different kind of pain but pain never the less, and I’ve never felt so alone in my life. I felt ashamed that I hadn’t been strong enough to work through the stress and just carry on. Thank heavens I had a doctor who was not only compassionate, but smart enough to not just put me on “the pill” and tell me things would get better sooner or later. She sent me to the hospital as a day patient where I met many other people who were going through the same thing I was. I wasn’t alone after all and I also realized that I had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. My job was to get well and not let the “stigma” of a nervous breakdown break me down.
Although my relationship with pain wasn’t a long one, I would bet the family farm that everyone suffering from chronic pain feels very alone and a little ashamed at not being able to handle it. I think the key to starting a new life is to gather all the information you can about your “problem” then act on it. Communicate, question, search and if, after all, you do have to live with pain for the rest of your life gather all the tools that you will help you, in the end, have a life. Sign up for group discussions, family sessions and know that you are not alone and have nothing to be ashamed of. Live.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
We made the papers!
12 Mar 2009Calgary HeraldCHRIS SIMNETT ALBERTA HEALTH SERVICES
Penning the Pain Diaries
Deborah Nicholson has published five mystery novels and has three more manuscripts in various stages of the publishing process.
Courtesy, Alberta Health Services
Author Deborah Nicholson, left, is a transcriptionist at the Calgary Health Region’s Chronic Pain Centre. She is with co-worker Dr. Chris Spanswick.
The author of the Kate Carpenter mystery series, which is published by Severn House in England, found the transition from novelist to playwright anything but painful; despite the fact the subject of the play is pain.
The Pain Diaries is the story of Isabelle, a 30something woman who is dealing with chronic pain. It is anticipated to premiere in Calgary in the spring of 2009.
The play is the brainchild of Nicholson, who works as a transcriptionist at the Calgary Health Region’s Chronic Pain Centre.
She came up with the idea after participating in a number of focus group sessions with patients during the accreditation process for the centre about two years ago.
As a transcriptionist, Nicholson gets the cold, hard facts of a patient’s story and spends her days typing them out. She says many of the stories, told like country-and-western songs where the person’s truck broke down, their spouse left, the dog was run over and the house burned down. She had little understanding of these patient’s catastrophic lives and thought they just didn’t know how to deal with things very well.”
But when Nicholson met some patients, their stories — heard face-to-face — made a dramatic impact on the novelist.
“I’ve learned two things while writing this play,” says Nicholson. “I’ve learned reality just is. Your reality for you is as real, as painful and as serious as my reality is to me. Even if your reality is you’re a triple amputee from the Iran war with damaged lungs from the chemicals they were using and my reality is I’ve just had a wart burned off my foot. You’d think those aren’t comparable but in your reality that is the worst that can happen to you and in my reality that is the worst that can happen to me.
“Along with learning what is real to a person comes not being judgmental about them,” she says. “You can’t call them whiners because they’re not whiners. To them, it’s the worst that can happen to them.”
One story in particular hit Nicholson hard. A woman in her mid-30s came to the centre after years of dealing with crippling chronic pain. She thought the centre was her Mecca — the place where she would be cured and all her problems would be taken care of.
The patient met with Dr. Chris Spanswick, Medical Leader of the Regional Pain Program and Pain Physician at the Chronic Pain Centre, for a three-hour assessment.
“One of the things that is always made very clear to the patients is their pain won’t be eradicated, but it may be able to be reduced by about 30 per cent and then they will be shown ways to manage their pain and get their lives back,” says Nicholson. “This woman said she walked in and was expecting this miracle and all she heard was they couldn’t cure her pain. She went home that night and it was the deepest, darkest pit-of-the-soul moment and she seriously thought about killing herself.
“She fell on the floor in the kitchen crying and trying to figure out how she could end it all. She said she woke up the next morning and she remembered the second part of Dr. Spanswick’s sentence ‘we can help you get your life back.’ It was the first time she had any real hope in her entire pain journey.”
Nicholson’s eyes well up as she tells the story.
“Imagine if you couldn’t be intimate with your spouse or play with your kids; you couldn’t pick them up or go out and kick a soccer ball,” says Nicholson. “You have to sit and watch your life pass by.”
In the play, Isabelle is that person. Her pain keeps her confined in a room where she can only look out of a window to glimpse life going on outside.
It’s a powerful image that got into Nicholson’s head and wouldn’t go away. Normally, she would try and find a way to turn the story into a novel, but this one screamed out for the stage.
“It popped into my head,” says Nicholson of Issy’s story. “I did the focus groups and the story that woman told and a few others never left my mind for months.
“One day I was sitting at my desk typing and I had this vision of that woman having this crisis, going home and thinking how she was going to kill herself — searching in drawers for knives and things like that — and then falling on the floor crying because she couldn’t find anything to end it with. Then the house goes black and the show goes into intermission.
“In my mind that’s how I saw it and I knew it had to be a play, it couldn’t be anything else because it was so visual.”
Nicholson, who worked as house manager for Theatre Calgary before joining the health region, says her initial goal in writing the play was to reach out to chronic pain sufferers and let them know there is hope to get their lives back.
“The other purpose is for people like me to learn what I’ve learned; to learn the whole judgment and reality lesson,” she says.
“It’s not just about pain. It’s been a huge epiphany in my life about people and their opinions. If my friend thinks her high school experience was horrible, it was. I can’t argue with her. That is her reality. That has been huge in my life. It’s totally changed my perception and understanding of people.”
Spanswick is enthusiastically behind the project.
He and other staff at the Chronic Pain Centre have been reading the play as it’s written, giving Nicholson feedback to make the work as accurate and powerful as possible.
“I think this is quite an important thing,” he says. “I see the opportunity of this play to not only raise the profile of pain but also to legitimize it to some people. This has a huge potential to educate people.
“What I like about it is it’s innovative; nobody has ever thought about doing it this way. It’s a way of getting across information and understanding in a non-threatening way and a way I think is more likely to stick.”
Nicholson’s script is as funny as it is serious. She’s out to entertain, not preach. She is hoping to hold a gala opening for the play in the spring and run it for at least a week in a prominent Calgary theatre. There is already interest to stage the play in Edmonton and in Australia, where her books are very popular.
I'm hoping this link will take you there.
Penning the Pain Diaries
Deborah Nicholson has published five mystery novels and has three more manuscripts in various stages of the publishing process.
Courtesy, Alberta Health Services
Author Deborah Nicholson, left, is a transcriptionist at the Calgary Health Region’s Chronic Pain Centre. She is with co-worker Dr. Chris Spanswick.
The author of the Kate Carpenter mystery series, which is published by Severn House in England, found the transition from novelist to playwright anything but painful; despite the fact the subject of the play is pain.
The Pain Diaries is the story of Isabelle, a 30something woman who is dealing with chronic pain. It is anticipated to premiere in Calgary in the spring of 2009.
The play is the brainchild of Nicholson, who works as a transcriptionist at the Calgary Health Region’s Chronic Pain Centre.
She came up with the idea after participating in a number of focus group sessions with patients during the accreditation process for the centre about two years ago.
As a transcriptionist, Nicholson gets the cold, hard facts of a patient’s story and spends her days typing them out. She says many of the stories, told like country-and-western songs where the person’s truck broke down, their spouse left, the dog was run over and the house burned down. She had little understanding of these patient’s catastrophic lives and thought they just didn’t know how to deal with things very well.”
But when Nicholson met some patients, their stories — heard face-to-face — made a dramatic impact on the novelist.
“I’ve learned two things while writing this play,” says Nicholson. “I’ve learned reality just is. Your reality for you is as real, as painful and as serious as my reality is to me. Even if your reality is you’re a triple amputee from the Iran war with damaged lungs from the chemicals they were using and my reality is I’ve just had a wart burned off my foot. You’d think those aren’t comparable but in your reality that is the worst that can happen to you and in my reality that is the worst that can happen to me.
“Along with learning what is real to a person comes not being judgmental about them,” she says. “You can’t call them whiners because they’re not whiners. To them, it’s the worst that can happen to them.”
One story in particular hit Nicholson hard. A woman in her mid-30s came to the centre after years of dealing with crippling chronic pain. She thought the centre was her Mecca — the place where she would be cured and all her problems would be taken care of.
The patient met with Dr. Chris Spanswick, Medical Leader of the Regional Pain Program and Pain Physician at the Chronic Pain Centre, for a three-hour assessment.
“One of the things that is always made very clear to the patients is their pain won’t be eradicated, but it may be able to be reduced by about 30 per cent and then they will be shown ways to manage their pain and get their lives back,” says Nicholson. “This woman said she walked in and was expecting this miracle and all she heard was they couldn’t cure her pain. She went home that night and it was the deepest, darkest pit-of-the-soul moment and she seriously thought about killing herself.
“She fell on the floor in the kitchen crying and trying to figure out how she could end it all. She said she woke up the next morning and she remembered the second part of Dr. Spanswick’s sentence ‘we can help you get your life back.’ It was the first time she had any real hope in her entire pain journey.”
Nicholson’s eyes well up as she tells the story.
“Imagine if you couldn’t be intimate with your spouse or play with your kids; you couldn’t pick them up or go out and kick a soccer ball,” says Nicholson. “You have to sit and watch your life pass by.”
In the play, Isabelle is that person. Her pain keeps her confined in a room where she can only look out of a window to glimpse life going on outside.
It’s a powerful image that got into Nicholson’s head and wouldn’t go away. Normally, she would try and find a way to turn the story into a novel, but this one screamed out for the stage.
“It popped into my head,” says Nicholson of Issy’s story. “I did the focus groups and the story that woman told and a few others never left my mind for months.
“One day I was sitting at my desk typing and I had this vision of that woman having this crisis, going home and thinking how she was going to kill herself — searching in drawers for knives and things like that — and then falling on the floor crying because she couldn’t find anything to end it with. Then the house goes black and the show goes into intermission.
“In my mind that’s how I saw it and I knew it had to be a play, it couldn’t be anything else because it was so visual.”
Nicholson, who worked as house manager for Theatre Calgary before joining the health region, says her initial goal in writing the play was to reach out to chronic pain sufferers and let them know there is hope to get their lives back.
“The other purpose is for people like me to learn what I’ve learned; to learn the whole judgment and reality lesson,” she says.
“It’s not just about pain. It’s been a huge epiphany in my life about people and their opinions. If my friend thinks her high school experience was horrible, it was. I can’t argue with her. That is her reality. That has been huge in my life. It’s totally changed my perception and understanding of people.”
Spanswick is enthusiastically behind the project.
He and other staff at the Chronic Pain Centre have been reading the play as it’s written, giving Nicholson feedback to make the work as accurate and powerful as possible.
“I think this is quite an important thing,” he says. “I see the opportunity of this play to not only raise the profile of pain but also to legitimize it to some people. This has a huge potential to educate people.
“What I like about it is it’s innovative; nobody has ever thought about doing it this way. It’s a way of getting across information and understanding in a non-threatening way and a way I think is more likely to stick.”
Nicholson’s script is as funny as it is serious. She’s out to entertain, not preach. She is hoping to hold a gala opening for the play in the spring and run it for at least a week in a prominent Calgary theatre. There is already interest to stage the play in Edmonton and in Australia, where her books are very popular.
I'm hoping this link will take you there.
Welcome to our new Master of Ceremonies
Welcome to Marlene Robertson, our new Master of Ceremonies around here. She has graciously volunteered to keep this blog running regularly, to free me up to write the play, edit the play, fundraise for the play and eventually stage the play. So you can now watch for regular updates - two to three times a week.
We appreciate all your comments, so please keep them coming.
Here's Marlene's first message.
*************************************************************************************
“You’re such a pain in the neck; Harry is a total pain in the butt.” How many times have we all made these statements and probably many more variations? These are relatively painless pains, and quickly pass. Nothing life-threatening here. But what happens when the pain doesn’t go away? What happens when we live with pain every day, sometimes for weeks, months or years? What happens if the pain never goes away? Well I suspect some of the people we have called a pain in the neck or a pain in the butt live with pain every single day of their lives, but we can’t conceive of that so we think they should just get on with life or suck it up or just grit their teeth and quit complaining. Ah, if only it was that easy. Wouldn’t life be grand?
I’m Deborah’s mom, Marlene, and I'm going to take over as "blog master" here, as the Pain Diaries becomes a reality. Over the years I’ve had some pain: a broken wrist, surgery, root canal and many years of migraine headaches, but until I was in a very bad car accident, I truly had no idea what pain was all about. Lots of bumps and bruises and stitches and six broken vertebra in my neck and back. Paralyzing, numbing, never-ending scary pain. But I am among the blessed because almost eight months after the accident, all six vertebrae have now healed, the pain is pretty much gone and my neck is slowly starting to work again.
What would I have done if I had to live with that pain every day for the rest of my life? Could I have sucked it up, got on with my life or grit my teeth? I don’t know and thank God and my Angels I don’t have to find out, but it made me understand that pain can be overwhelming and can literally cripple you. No more skiing, long walks on a perfect summer evening, or taking your kids camping. No more driving the car, making love with a man you adore, a man who has stuck with you through thick and through thin, a man who is suffering as well. Life will never be the same, and as I was so fond of saying throughout my recovery, “I just want my life back.” I have so very much to be thankful for and never again will I judge anyone who is in pain. Never.
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