Working HARD!!!!

Hello Everyone,

The Pain Diaries is set to make it's world debut in Calgary May 13, 2010 (during the Canadian Pain Society's conference). To make that happen I have to raise $100,000.00 over the next six months or so.

Well, I can't do it all, though I've tried. So we are temporarily moving this blog over to our Facebook Group (The Pain Diaries) in order for me to focus my efforts on producing the play over the next several months.

I think this blog is important, and would love to see it eventually taken over and run by patients, as an important tool for people with chronic pain to be able to reach a community of their peers, and I hope someone will be inspired to step in and take it over.

Until then, please join us on Facebook: The Pain Diaries. We will keep you updated on what is happening and keep some discussions going.

If you are able to help with running the blog, marketing or fundraising for this project, please contact me on Facebook.

Thank you so much for all you support, I look forward to meeting you all on Facebook and next May.

Deborah Nicholson

Mondays with Marlene

In my opinion....


Probably one of the worst things about chronic pain is feeling alone, imagining no one can possibly understand and trying to figure out how to lessen the pain or live with it....live being the operative word. Who can you really talk to besides your doctor? Who can really understand the mess this pain has made of your life? How about seeking out others like you who suffer from chronic pain? I don’t mean a stitch and bitch session; I mean exchange ideas, ask each other questions, give each other hope and know, finally, that you’re not alone.

A long time ago I had a “nervous breakdown”, a different kind of pain but pain never the less, and I’ve never felt so alone in my life. I felt ashamed that I hadn’t been strong enough to work through the stress and just carry on. Thank heavens I had a doctor who was not only compassionate, but smart enough to not just put me on “the pill” and tell me things would get better sooner or later. She sent me to the hospital as a day patient where I met many other people who were going through the same thing I was. I wasn’t alone after all and I also realized that I had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. My job was to get well and not let the “stigma” of a nervous breakdown break me down.

Although my relationship with pain wasn’t a long one, I would bet the family farm that everyone suffering from chronic pain feels very alone and a little ashamed at not being able to handle it. I think the key to starting a new life is to gather all the information you can about your “problem” then act on it. Communicate, question, search and if, after all, you do have to live with pain for the rest of your life gather all the tools that you will help you, in the end, have a life. Sign up for group discussions, family sessions and know that you are not alone and have nothing to be ashamed of. Live.

Welcome to our new Master of Ceremonies

Welcome to Marlene Robertson, our new Master of Ceremonies around here. She has graciously volunteered to keep this blog running regularly, to free me up to write the play, edit the play, fundraise for the play and eventually stage the play. So you can now watch for regular updates - two to three times a week.

We appreciate all your comments, so please keep them coming.

Here's Marlene's first message.

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“You’re such a pain in the neck; Harry is a total pain in the butt.” How many times have we all made these statements and probably many more variations? These are relatively painless pains, and quickly pass. Nothing life-threatening here. But what happens when the pain doesn’t go away? What happens when we live with pain every day, sometimes for weeks, months or years? What happens if the pain never goes away? Well I suspect some of the people we have called a pain in the neck or a pain in the butt live with pain every single day of their lives, but we can’t conceive of that so we think they should just get on with life or suck it up or just grit their teeth and quit complaining. Ah, if only it was that easy. Wouldn’t life be grand?

I’m Deborah’s mom, Marlene, and I'm going to take over as "blog master" here, as the Pain Diaries becomes a reality. Over the years I’ve had some pain: a broken wrist, surgery, root canal and many years of migraine headaches, but until I was in a very bad car accident, I truly had no idea what pain was all about. Lots of bumps and bruises and stitches and six broken vertebra in my neck and back. Paralyzing, numbing, never-ending scary pain. But I am among the blessed because almost eight months after the accident, all six vertebrae have now healed, the pain is pretty much gone and my neck is slowly starting to work again.


What would I have done if I had to live with that pain every day for the rest of my life? Could I have sucked it up, got on with my life or grit my teeth? I don’t know and thank God and my Angels I don’t have to find out, but it made me understand that pain can be overwhelming and can literally cripple you. No more skiing, long walks on a perfect summer evening, or taking your kids camping. No more driving the car, making love with a man you adore, a man who has stuck with you through thick and through thin, a man who is suffering as well. Life will never be the same, and as I was so fond of saying throughout my recovery, “I just want my life back.” I have so very much to be thankful for and never again will I judge anyone who is in pain. Never.

Long Time No See

So, there is something I've figured out as I've been working really hard to lose weight. Life keeps getting in the way. You can use it as an excuse and never accomplish your goals, or you can plow through the hard times and come out the other end. I'm trying really hard to plow through. Really. And I feel sort of successful, after all, I have almost three quarters of the play finished. And that is GREAT! And I'm really happy with the content overall, though it will require rigorous editing - but then what writing project doesn't!

And do you know what else I've discovered? You can't do it all alone!

So here's what happened since last we've talked - I've got two books out at two different publishers and am getting positive feedback, but still waiting for that magic word "contract" and have been doing some editing on those.

I've had a great opportunity arise to work on a children's story that is probably going to turn into a young people's symphony concert.

I've written three quarters of the Pain Diaries.

I've been overcome by another great idea that came to me as I drove the coast of Oregon two summers ago.

Plus I've worked a full time job and managed full time family issues.

Did you hear the one about my mother who was trying to move back to Canada from Mexico with her husband? They got stopped for about two months in California with some heart problems. Then, they got medical clearance to travel and three hours on the road they had a blow out which led to a devastating car accident. They had to be cut out of their car, mom was unconscious and it turns out she has about six fractures in her neck and is now trussed up for the next three months or so. I have to say, stuff like this really distracts me from writing - with the emotional toll it takes.

On top of that, I try really hard to maintain some balance and have a bit of a life. I'm still hoping to find lots of travel and friends and fun before I go, and maybe even love...

So I can't do it alone. I can't write a play, manage the project, raise the funds, run the workshops and man the blog. So I'm asking for help.

I'd like to find someone (or many someones) to help with the blog. We really want this to become in interactive forum for pain patients and caregivers, but we need a blog-master/mistress. I can't run this and maintain everything else...as I've already proven.

I would love to put together a fund-raising committee. We need to raise about $20,000 to run a successful workshop performance to polish the play. We probably need another $100,000 after that to stage a big opening gala and week or so run of the show. The great thing is that this would potentially raise about $200,000 in donations, which would go into pain programs/research. And the Calgary Health Trust will write tax deductible receipts for us for the project.

And if I can't get a team, then I'll still get it done, but a little slower and one task at a time.

So if you're out there and you think this is something you could help with, send a comment, which will magically arrive in me email box and let me know.

Otherwise, thank you all for being patient and don't give up - I haven't!

Deb