In my opinion ...
My husband and I have just completed a six week “course” on Living a Healthy Life with Chronic Conditions. It’s presented by the University of Victoria Center of Aging and is designed as a self-management program. It covered a lot of topics I was already familiar with, but like most courses contained these wonderful nuggets of wisdom and practicality, and often jolted my memory and reminded me that there were things I could do to make my life the best it can be with the condition I have to live with. The attendees had a variety of chronic problems and believe me, some of them made me happy to have the problems I had to deal with.
One of the most important things I was reminded of was to communicate. Sounds pretty simple, but it’s probably one of the things we all fail miserably at most of the time. Coping mechanisms was also a biggie. We all know that we have to do certain things, but sometimes we put them off or think that missing that stretching routine just once or twice won’t really hurt. NOT!
Something very important for me is to remember to be kind and good to myself. Stop for a cup of coffee and sit out on the patio to drink it. Enjoy the day. Arrange your budget so you can go out for lunch or dinner once in a while. I know it gives me that much needed boost. Take a few minutes to phone or write to a friend. Tell your family you love them. That’s being kind to everyone. Give your husband/wife an extra hug and let him know how much you appreciate his/her support. Say thanks to the grocery store clerk for carrying your bags out to the car and say thanks to yourself for hanging in there and doing the best you can.
Give yourself a little hug and a pat on the back. You deserve it.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
mondays with Marlene
In my opinion ...
Can you believe it? I had a friggin’ hissy fit the other day. Things have been going pretty well lately. I’ve started acquafit classes, which I’m enjoying and seem to be doing me some good; I’m walking faithfully and slowly starting to write once again. All in all, I really have nothing to complain about, so why the “spoiled child” act? Pain and frustration, that’s why. We went to a car wash and I was trying to turn my neck to see what the protocol was, but damn it, I couldn’t turn my neck far enough to read the sign, so instead of just approaching from a different angle, I started pounding on the steering wheel and screaming that I wanted my neck to be normal again. All I managed to accomplish out of that little act was to scare the devil out of my husband and bruise my hand. Pretty smart, hey? Totally grown up and adult, right? Not!
When I calmed down and realized I was acting like a jerk, I asked the attendant to give me the dirt on getting the dirt off the car, got in line and it all worked like a charm. Why didn’t I just do that in the first place? Beats the heck out of me but somehow, sore hand and all, I did feel a little better.
There are a lot of frustrations when you are limited to what you can do because of pain, and I guess sometimes it just has to come out. It’s not the first time I’ve been totally frustrated and pissed off because I can’t do something I want to do, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. What I’m trying to do is actually is accept I’m not perfect and do have the right to sound off now and again, excluding kicking the dog or chasing the postman of course.
Now if I could just get my hands on a punching bag. ; )
Can you believe it? I had a friggin’ hissy fit the other day. Things have been going pretty well lately. I’ve started acquafit classes, which I’m enjoying and seem to be doing me some good; I’m walking faithfully and slowly starting to write once again. All in all, I really have nothing to complain about, so why the “spoiled child” act? Pain and frustration, that’s why. We went to a car wash and I was trying to turn my neck to see what the protocol was, but damn it, I couldn’t turn my neck far enough to read the sign, so instead of just approaching from a different angle, I started pounding on the steering wheel and screaming that I wanted my neck to be normal again. All I managed to accomplish out of that little act was to scare the devil out of my husband and bruise my hand. Pretty smart, hey? Totally grown up and adult, right? Not!
When I calmed down and realized I was acting like a jerk, I asked the attendant to give me the dirt on getting the dirt off the car, got in line and it all worked like a charm. Why didn’t I just do that in the first place? Beats the heck out of me but somehow, sore hand and all, I did feel a little better.
There are a lot of frustrations when you are limited to what you can do because of pain, and I guess sometimes it just has to come out. It’s not the first time I’ve been totally frustrated and pissed off because I can’t do something I want to do, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. What I’m trying to do is actually is accept I’m not perfect and do have the right to sound off now and again, excluding kicking the dog or chasing the postman of course.
Now if I could just get my hands on a punching bag. ; )
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Mondays with Marlene
In my opinion ...
Have you ever asked your daughter to get you some rubbers? I did and the final result was quite satisfying, but getting to that point was positively hilarious. First of all she wanted me to repeat my request, which I did. Then she suggested I was probably old enough to buy my own rubbers. I agreed. Then she said she was delighted that I wasn’t too old for safe sex. I said I was delighted as well, but it didn’t have anything to do with safe sex; it was all about exercise. “Ya, ya, ya, everyone knows sex is great exercise so don’t try that one mom.”
It’s funny how some things never change. She didn’t listen to me when she was a teenager either.
After being in a brace for almost seven months, I was sadly out of shape, housebound, lacking confidence and needed to do something about it. My body was crying for help and I was up to throwing out the old lifeline, but needed some rubbers to assist me. Of course since then I have found out they aren’t called rubbers; they are officially known as Theraband, which does sound much better, especially if your daughter is involved.
So now I am the proud owner of an excellent variety of rubbers – er Theraband - to assist me into getting fit again. I found my tolerance levels, got advice from my healthcare professionals and have slowly started to increase my activity. I’m walking most morning, have now started acquacise, am trying to use my exercise ball on a regular basis and have found the Theraband some of the most useful tools I have in my little “get back into moving" arsenal.
There are still things I can’t do, and that may never change, but I’m focussing on the positive, doing what I can and am already feeling much stronger and more sure of myself.
Another great side effect? Meeting new people, getting out of the house on a regular basis and feeling so much better about myself. Important stuff.
And the sex? Well I’ll save that for another column.
Have you ever asked your daughter to get you some rubbers? I did and the final result was quite satisfying, but getting to that point was positively hilarious. First of all she wanted me to repeat my request, which I did. Then she suggested I was probably old enough to buy my own rubbers. I agreed. Then she said she was delighted that I wasn’t too old for safe sex. I said I was delighted as well, but it didn’t have anything to do with safe sex; it was all about exercise. “Ya, ya, ya, everyone knows sex is great exercise so don’t try that one mom.”
It’s funny how some things never change. She didn’t listen to me when she was a teenager either.
After being in a brace for almost seven months, I was sadly out of shape, housebound, lacking confidence and needed to do something about it. My body was crying for help and I was up to throwing out the old lifeline, but needed some rubbers to assist me. Of course since then I have found out they aren’t called rubbers; they are officially known as Theraband, which does sound much better, especially if your daughter is involved.
So now I am the proud owner of an excellent variety of rubbers – er Theraband - to assist me into getting fit again. I found my tolerance levels, got advice from my healthcare professionals and have slowly started to increase my activity. I’m walking most morning, have now started acquacise, am trying to use my exercise ball on a regular basis and have found the Theraband some of the most useful tools I have in my little “get back into moving" arsenal.
There are still things I can’t do, and that may never change, but I’m focussing on the positive, doing what I can and am already feeling much stronger and more sure of myself.
Another great side effect? Meeting new people, getting out of the house on a regular basis and feeling so much better about myself. Important stuff.
And the sex? Well I’ll save that for another column.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Mondays with Marlene
...which due to technical problems is late being posted this week. We apologize.
In my opinion...
Any pain or chronic health problems we have to deal with have an impact on everyone around us; friends, children, husbands, and sometimes even neighbours or people we barely know. Since my children are now adults with their own homes, I really didn’t think much about the impact my accident would have on them. I knew they were worried, but until my daughter made a rather off-hand remark during a conversation, I had no idea how deeply my accident had affected her. I, of course, felt terrible that I had added to her stress level, but wasn’t quite sure what to do or how to make her feel better about it.
When the light bulb finally went on, it was a relatively simple solution; let her help me. I know that sounds pretty simple, but I’ve always had a problem accepting help. Unfortunately with six fractured vertebrae, I really had no choice. The trick was to accept help graciously. It took a bit of time, but when I realized that by letting people help me, I was helping them in turn, it was much easier to accept. I know that when I’m worried, action is what I need, so obviously they needed to do something to made them feel they were a part of the healing process. I learned to accept help from everyone to do the million and one other tasks I was unable to handle myself.
Let those who care help. That way everyone wins.
In my opinion...
Any pain or chronic health problems we have to deal with have an impact on everyone around us; friends, children, husbands, and sometimes even neighbours or people we barely know. Since my children are now adults with their own homes, I really didn’t think much about the impact my accident would have on them. I knew they were worried, but until my daughter made a rather off-hand remark during a conversation, I had no idea how deeply my accident had affected her. I, of course, felt terrible that I had added to her stress level, but wasn’t quite sure what to do or how to make her feel better about it.
When the light bulb finally went on, it was a relatively simple solution; let her help me. I know that sounds pretty simple, but I’ve always had a problem accepting help. Unfortunately with six fractured vertebrae, I really had no choice. The trick was to accept help graciously. It took a bit of time, but when I realized that by letting people help me, I was helping them in turn, it was much easier to accept. I know that when I’m worried, action is what I need, so obviously they needed to do something to made them feel they were a part of the healing process. I learned to accept help from everyone to do the million and one other tasks I was unable to handle myself.
Let those who care help. That way everyone wins.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Mondays with Marlene
In my opinion ...
Lots of things change when you are incapacitated and in pain. In fact, almost everything changes, but there is a way to do most daily tasks; ask for advice from your health care professional, think outside the box or just brain storm with friends and family. Mind you, you don’t want to ask the kids for advice on how to have sex with their dad, but it’s surprising what young minds come up with to solve some of those everyday problems. Since my husband and I are retired and don’t have any young ones running around the house, we’ve tried to figure things out for ourselves, often by trial and error. One thing I always did, though, was to ask my healthcare-givers if it was safe for me to do things such as vacuum, do laundry and clean toilets (the housecleaning triathlon)
Since I’ve been called a neat freak more than once in my life, you can imagine that watching dust bunnies grow under the bed pretty much made me crazy, so I had to figure out how to clean the house. What ended up working well for me, was a great husband who is probably the best string mop floor washer in the world, and breaking the job up into do-able increments. That was a challenge in itself since I’ve never in my life broken any job into small increments, but now I had no choice. I ended up dusting one day, cleaning the bathroom, kitchen sink and so on the second and vacuuming, which I found very hard, the third day and then my husband washed the floors. Presto – small increments from a “do it all now or the world will end type of gal” and I had a clean house. In fact it worked so well even though I am able to do more now, I still clean the same way. It made so much sense that I don’t ever want to put a full day into housecleaning again.
Another item that was a great help, especially early on in the relearning process, was one of those reacher things. I don’t know what they are really called but there is a handle and a trigger and a gripper so you can reach things that are too high for you and being me, I even used it to pick up bits and pieces off the floor, or the magazine I dropped or a few times to pinch my sweet husband right on the butt. Now that’s thinking outside the box! You can do it too.
Lots of things change when you are incapacitated and in pain. In fact, almost everything changes, but there is a way to do most daily tasks; ask for advice from your health care professional, think outside the box or just brain storm with friends and family. Mind you, you don’t want to ask the kids for advice on how to have sex with their dad, but it’s surprising what young minds come up with to solve some of those everyday problems. Since my husband and I are retired and don’t have any young ones running around the house, we’ve tried to figure things out for ourselves, often by trial and error. One thing I always did, though, was to ask my healthcare-givers if it was safe for me to do things such as vacuum, do laundry and clean toilets (the housecleaning triathlon)
Since I’ve been called a neat freak more than once in my life, you can imagine that watching dust bunnies grow under the bed pretty much made me crazy, so I had to figure out how to clean the house. What ended up working well for me, was a great husband who is probably the best string mop floor washer in the world, and breaking the job up into do-able increments. That was a challenge in itself since I’ve never in my life broken any job into small increments, but now I had no choice. I ended up dusting one day, cleaning the bathroom, kitchen sink and so on the second and vacuuming, which I found very hard, the third day and then my husband washed the floors. Presto – small increments from a “do it all now or the world will end type of gal” and I had a clean house. In fact it worked so well even though I am able to do more now, I still clean the same way. It made so much sense that I don’t ever want to put a full day into housecleaning again.
Another item that was a great help, especially early on in the relearning process, was one of those reacher things. I don’t know what they are really called but there is a handle and a trigger and a gripper so you can reach things that are too high for you and being me, I even used it to pick up bits and pieces off the floor, or the magazine I dropped or a few times to pinch my sweet husband right on the butt. Now that’s thinking outside the box! You can do it too.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Mondays With Marlene
In my opinion....
Do you remember when you got your first car; or at least when you learned to drive and could borrow your dad’s or a boyfriend’s car? Or when your cousin who was a year older than you got her driver’s license and the two of you would cruise Main Street, along with dozens of other newly empowered teenagers? Do you remember those trips to A & W when it was still a drive in and your food was delivered on a tray that was attached to the side window of the car? OK, I know I’m dating myself, but the excitement of those days was nothing compared to finally getting a car after over seven months of being unable to drive. Whahooooo!
Free at last. Free at last. Thanks to the universe and my ever present angels, free at Last.
One of the hardest parts of recovering from our car accident was not being independent; having to depend on friends, family, and sometimes strangers to get you to doctor’s offices, therapy appointments and grocery shopping. It was a very painful experience. I am the one who was always in charge; the leader of the pack, the helper outer and now the show had moved on and I had to ask others for help. Gulp. Perhaps that was the lesson I had to learn and believe me, it was a hard one. I’m sure that all of you reading this know exactly what I’m talking about. We take that independence thing for granted until suddenly we don’t have it any longer.
Every time I get into my new used car and drive away, I am grateful that I didn't lose the ability to drive. I can guarantee it’s something I will never take for granted again.
Now where the heck was that A & W drive in?
Do you remember when you got your first car; or at least when you learned to drive and could borrow your dad’s or a boyfriend’s car? Or when your cousin who was a year older than you got her driver’s license and the two of you would cruise Main Street, along with dozens of other newly empowered teenagers? Do you remember those trips to A & W when it was still a drive in and your food was delivered on a tray that was attached to the side window of the car? OK, I know I’m dating myself, but the excitement of those days was nothing compared to finally getting a car after over seven months of being unable to drive. Whahooooo!
Free at last. Free at last. Thanks to the universe and my ever present angels, free at Last.
One of the hardest parts of recovering from our car accident was not being independent; having to depend on friends, family, and sometimes strangers to get you to doctor’s offices, therapy appointments and grocery shopping. It was a very painful experience. I am the one who was always in charge; the leader of the pack, the helper outer and now the show had moved on and I had to ask others for help. Gulp. Perhaps that was the lesson I had to learn and believe me, it was a hard one. I’m sure that all of you reading this know exactly what I’m talking about. We take that independence thing for granted until suddenly we don’t have it any longer.
Every time I get into my new used car and drive away, I am grateful that I didn't lose the ability to drive. I can guarantee it’s something I will never take for granted again.
Now where the heck was that A & W drive in?
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